Thursday, April 24, 2008

Yankees / Red Sox Who is better?? A Scentific View.

I am tired of the bull shit about "Yankees Suck" and "Red Sox Suck" and "Manny Being Manny" and Jerry Remy "Is The Best 2nd Baseman Ever" and "Dwight Evans Hall Of Fame rip off" and "Yankee Stadium Doesn't have a Yellow Pole Named After a Guy With Under 20 HRs (Johnny Pesky)"...

Enough..

So I decided to use some practicality in determining which franchise is better. And I am gonna dive deeper than shallow comments like "Socks is not spelled Sox" or "Bawston Sucks Cahck"..
I'm Digging Deeper! Using Complicated Mathmatical formula's like + (Plus) and =(Equals) and -(Minus)..

Sawks Fans fans pay attention.. I know ya confused and would ratha take ya cah and drive ta Fawl Rivah find a Packy and drink some bee-yeas withe ya pal Sully from Quincy.. Ya know tha Qincy Que-ah that was dating ya sistah.. This math is ratha easy enough fa even you ta fal-al. Grab a Sode-er and he-ah we go..

I am not "shoo-ah" "weah" this is going to go so lets try the "Ben Franklin Balance Sheet" to figure it out.

You probably know, Benjamin Franklin was one of the wisest and most respected men in history.Wouldn't you agree? Sure he was. He was an Inventor, Scholar, Revolutionary and a founding father.. He even flew kites in lighting storms. So not only was he Smart.. He was also Damn Tough. Like Chuck Norris Tough!

Whenever good old Ben was faced with a tough decision - much like the one we are deciding today today. He would take a plain piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and put a plus sign on one half, and a minus sign on the other.

He discovered that by listing all the positive elements on the plus side of the paper, and the negative things on the minus side, the answer would become obvious. That makes a lot of sense and I am sure that Yankee Fans and Sox Fans would agree..

So let's borrow Ben Franklin's method for just a moment. Since we are having a tough time deciding this.

Lets list the reasons the Yankees are Far Superior, then we'll list the reasons the Sox are far superior. Fair enough?


YANKEES Reasons | RED SOX Reasons
1923 1903
1927 1912
1928 1915
1932 1916
1936 1918
1937 2004
1938 2007
1939
1941
1943
1947
1949
1950
1951
1952
1953
1956
1958
1961
1962
1977
1978
1996
1998
1999
2000


Lets now count the reasons the reasons The Yankees Suck By Counting the Red Sox Column. Don't sweat it sox fans you can use both your hands... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 7. Ok there are Seven Reasons why the Red Sox are better than the Yankees.

Ok Lets know count the Reasons the Yankees are better than the Red Sox. We can do this by counting the Yankees Column. Know Sox fans "Ya betta get yah Motha and Fatha to help count". Start with "yah Motha's" hands.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Know get your fathers hands... 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.. Now Your hands.. 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26.. 26. There are 26 reasons why the Yanks are better.

Now for some simple math. Lets use our fingers and take away 7 Yankee fingers. 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18. 18

So real simple there are 18 REASONS WHY THE RED SOCKS SUCK.

EIGHTEEN!!




No comments: